Davina, also known as 'Davi'
to her drug lord, spends her
days behind the computer.
…Nope...not as an IT,
not looking up porn (She's made
a few…of the homemade
kind, of course) and not on
WebMD, trying to figure out why
she has these chronic coughs
and trippy illusions (blame
that on her drug lord.)
Oh…So, you wanna know?
Curiosity killed the cat, ya
know? Meow Meow. Alright. I
guess I will tell you, but take
it how you want. People on
Carmen Sandiego, Matlock, and
Andy Griffith have tried to
figure out the truth…and
well…you've seen what's
happened to those shows.
Okay...if you really wanna
know, first you will have to:
Turn down your BeeGees, put
your pants back on, and put
down the whiskey..
She spends her days behind
the computer, looking at inmate
mug shots. It's not a sick
fetish though; her creator
(Shawn/God) has that fetish.
Some have said it's because
she's looking for her soul
mate, Elvis. After watching the
"Jailhouse Rock" video, over
and over with the thrusting,
she believes Elvis is still in
that jail. She believes that he
could have burned his face on
something, had a few teeth
knocked out, or had to shave
his head…so, she has to
pay close attention and examine
every picture. The second
"story" is that she's trying to
get character ideas for her
next "homemade video." The
third "story" is she's looking
for her soul mate, became so
infatuated with some of these
characters in the photos, that
she had to go on a mission (a
mission from her God, some
say,) and travel to each of
these Jail Houses. Some even
say, that after she realizes
one of her inmate lovers isn't
Elvis, she…okay...make
sure you have the lights off
and doors locked, for this one.
She takes them home, drowns
them in a pool of laundry
detergent, with a sock gagging
them, washes their dead filth
on her washboard, and chops
them to pieces. Portions of
their bones go in her egg.
Portions of their flesh make
her raggedy, yet unique,
clothing line. Portions of
their body make new
instruments…a.k.a. new
noises for her to call out her
heart to Elvis. The remains of
their blood, she drains into
her flask.
Take this how you will. I
mean, Snopes has real no
answer. Everyone is too scared
to admit the truth, and some
mouths have been sewed shut to
not admit the truth....and
well, some aren't around
anymore to admit the truth.
